don't read the book backwards
you owe it to yourself to learn from your mistakes
June is here. The sun is blistering us where it’s perched in the sky, and the energy is simultaneously draining and new. June is a significant month, spiritually and otherwise. The Islamic New Year is at the end of June. In June, Jupiter will enter Cancer, bringing new beginnings and good luck (please, God!). This is the perfect time for us to be pushed into something fresh and challenging and exciting - to start the things we’ve been putting off, to strive towards our goals. Most importantly, this is a good time to break old patterns and step into our power. We should shed the small parts of ourselves that are no longer serving us and grow into more dynamic, mature individuals.
A very important aspect of this is not “reading the book backwards” - in other words, we should stop repeating the same mistakes that we’ve made in the past. “Mistakes” may not be the right word for this. A more apt and encompassing definition could be the patterns that don’t serve us, or the things that keep us stuck in a loop of the same stunted mindset. I was forced to confront my own pattern of reading the book backwards this week. I have a tendency to stick to negative patterns until they feel so insufferable and claustrophobic that I need to get rid of them that same second. For example, I’ll put up with someone’s poor treatment of me until I finally snap, or I’ll repeat the same negative self-talk that comes from a place of scarcity and not from a place of strength or love. The worst part about these habits is that it can be really hard to identify your own mindset as the issue; it’s much easier to blame your friend for hurting your feelings or the circumstances for keeping you from achieving your dreams.
The only way to break a harmful habit is to learn from it. Often, no one will monitor you or push you or motivate you to do this. Because it can be so intrinsic, and we are selfish creatures by nature, the people around you might not necessarily see that you are harming yourself or that something needs to change, even if it really does. This is where personal responsibility comes in. If you are a person with goals and who wants to stop limiting themselves and others, we all need to take a good, long look at ourselves and identify the patterns that are stopping us from becoming better people.
I used to think that situations had to be “seen through,” or get so bad that I had no choice but to put a stop to something that was harming me or making me sad. I realize now that I was basically taking a year to solve an issue that could be resolved in a day. I waste my time and energy entertaining something I know is not right. Before, I had the excuse of not knowing myself that well and not being able to recognize harmful patterns. But now that I’ve grown, I find it impossible and exhausting to continue putting myself in situations that I know I don’t want to be in. That energy can be better spent on my career and my hopes and the people in my life who love me and deserve attention.
Furthermore, I always observe other people and their selfishness as a form of inspiration. Do they put their happiness on the line for you or anyone else? Do they bend over backwards to please an internal critic? Often, selfishness can be justified. At its core, it is the preservation of resources that are better served for yourself or whatever else. People might confuse boundaries or growth for selfishness - “she’s changed, she’s not the same person she was before.” Growth is only upsetting to those who recognize that they are stuck in the same place. You are supposed to change. You are supposed to evolve and be a different person by the end of the year, or even by the end of the day. The more time spent repeating the same cycles, the more time it will take to evolve into the person you are meant to be.
Our goal for the rest of 2025 should be to stop reading the book backwards, so that we can move onto a new story, or even write one ourselves, without all of the limiting beliefs we held before.